Senin, 09 Maret 2015

I Will Pray for You

So...I woke up like this.

Smell like a shit, my head is full of shitty hell problem. Maybe it's not a very important things for some people, but I don't know they seems flying around flying around on my mind. I just wanna be a really nice and calm girl ever. Cause I have so many things to do than to take this shit as real. But shittttt is goes so REAL. I Damned so hard.

Sometimes, we play with love. But when the time comes and you finally realize that you want to get serious, love plays with you. That's why I told you to not fallin' in love. Fall off a bridge, it hurts less.

Do you guys have enemies or anything that hates you? Having them in life is such a sad thing. Even though I don't hate anyone, I know that there are people out there who hate me. Many times we feel disappointed, angry or sad because things didn't turn out the way we wish it would.

I think this is the right time to me. Enough..enough for making t-o-o much hurt-ed boys and hurt-ed people. Hehe Sorry, for y-o-u-a-l-l. I'm so tired of it all. What's wrong for making a good friends? Huh? Can you guys tell me at least ten reasons?BANG-BANG

Stupid.

Apa cara itu malah bikin gue jadi jahat? Sedikitpun gak ada niat sama sekali buat nyakitin orang. Sampai sekarang, gue masih gak bisa untuk nyakitin hati orang. Gue mungkin emng jadi pihak yang ninggalin semuanya, Gue juga emng ngeladenin aja orang-orang yang gue anggap baik tadi. Yaa...karna gue gak bisa aja buat jahat gitu, buat sok-sok an "Cih..siapasih lo?". I can't do it and I'm sorry...It's me. I just love making a good friends and hate to losing them in the end.

Why do we wake up if we are to sleep? Why do we live if we are to die? Why do we meet if we are to say goodbye? Sometimes I don't get it and most of times I don't like it.

But hy....I just wanna keep this. I just wanna make everyone happy and I always try to make them happy. So when time may no longer exist, that people will remember me. And they smile when do. Thinking about me as beautiful memories. Makanya, walaupun memang harus gue yang meninggalkan...Gue bakalan selalu berusaha buat keep in touch sama mereka. Kalau p-u-n akhirnya mereka memilih untuk dendam, ya bukan salah gue lagi. Setidaknya mereka dulu pernah gue bikin ketawa, I've raised their day before, gue pernah jadi very important person to them dan gue selalu berusaha bikin a good memories buat nantinya mereka bisa kenang lagi.

Sebenernya gue gak apa-apa. Cuma agak gak bisa nerima kenyataan bahwa banyak orang yang akhirnya gue sakitin. Banyak kebaikan yang gak terbalas yang kadang bikin hati gue agak uhmm pas ngingetnya. But time is over now. Lemme fix my self and lemme take my own karma. I will pray for you all, that's the only things I could give.

"In happiness there's sadness. In sadness there's happiness. Life's balanced that way" (#88lovelife)

Kamis, 05 Maret 2015

A Mess

I lose everything.

3 Word that hurt me so much.


Mungkin gue kelamaan LDR kali ya, sampai-sampai sekarang selalu berkahir gak enak. Bukan lo nya, tapi gue nya yang ngebrantakin semuanya. Tiap menjalin hubungan, gue biasanya bisa tahan lama. Nah ini... paling lama juga bertahan beberapa bulan. Itu juga mesti berakhir dengan ending lo nya yang enggan berteman sama gue lagi.

Dari hati sendiri udah ngebuka, tapi pernah gak sih lo ngerasa kayaknya lo belum siap gitu buat menjalin satu hal yang serius?. Yaa gak siap, gak siap sama resiko, takut ini, takut itu, males ini, males itu. Tapi merasa nyaman kalau deket sama dia.

Mungkin kebanyakan mikir.

 I always try to make a good friends. Tapi kenapa ya, kalian semuanya terburu-buru banget, sampai akhirnya gue selalu gak sengaja malah ngebunuh kalian sendiri.

Kalau ditanya soal perasaan, ya mungkin sempat ada. Nyaman. Tapi kaya ada yang janggal aja, bukan masalah di lo nya, sekali lagi masalah di gue nya. Gue sendiri juga gak ngerti ini apa, kayak belum siap aja buat semuanya. Padahal lo mungkin serius, you would do anything for me, pick me up, buying me some sweet stuff, do all the cute things, you always try to make me laugh..bahkan sampe ngajak gue dinner bareng keluarga lo in Val's day. Ada...

Ada yang bikin bahagia, banget. Karna ke egoisan, gue pergi. Ada juga yang rela ngapain aja, karna merasa terlalu disayangin terus gue pergi. Ada yang sebenernya hampir sempurna, sayangnya gue gak bisa jelasin semuanya Perputarannya gitu aja terus, ada yang datang gak lama pergi, ada yang datang gak lama gue usir. Akhirnya? Gue tinggalin.